Marna, Bob & Dawn

As we walk through life, our friends that we interact with on a regular basis change. Since I ‘retired’ a few ago I have noticed that many of the persons I regularly interact with are middle age woman, 35–60 years old, especially African American woman. Today I had a lunch with two of these friends, Dawn and Marna, the D and M of the DMZ community garden. In fact, this was a resumption of our monthly DMZ lunches — slow, leisurely meals with garden conversation and good healthy food. The food stars of this lunch were the Philly Cheese Steak Bagels (I did not have buns) and the slow-cooked pole beans from my garden. The best part of lunch was conversation between friends. Gardening has brought the three of us together.

I first met Marna at prayer vigils for homicide victims. After the killing of her son along with two other sons, the three mothers formed Mothers Against Gun Violence. Marna and I paired up to do the web site MAGV. During this time I discovered that Marna, despite her many ailments, really liked growing plants and flowers.

I met Dawn of Foundation Dwellings when another friend, religious nun in the same age group, introduced me to her as a person who really cared for persons with disabilities and was having some a tough time due to some unfair media attention. Working with Dawn I found out she also had a love for growing. When I introduced Dawn and Marna to each other they instantly became friends and you know the rest of the story.

I have other friends, men of all ages and women not 35–60, however the fact that a number of friends that I interact with on a regular basis are middle aged woman, probably says something of the direction my life has taken me the last few years. I am not sure what it is but it has something about friends who have faced real hardships and have kept a positive attitude in life and still are sensitive to the needs of others. Most of them have also encountered violence in life and overcome it with faith, and most love gardening. Maybe we can call it the nonviolent worm cycle of friends. Also persons like these women have a deep sense of sharing which is certainly something I admire in all persons.

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