Prayer Vigil This Morning

Despite what the mayor and police chief say the violence on the streets of Milwaukee is increasing. We had two prayer vigils for homicide victims this morning and three more tomorrow.

The first prayer vigil this morning was at a house next door to the one my deceased son Peter had lived in for many years. When he was first moved there he was doing good, living with his mental illness, but at the end of his stay he was very sick and had to be removed from the house by police.

There was a man drinking a beer and a child playing in front of the house where my son had lived. Before the prayer vigil I went over to talk to the man. I invited him to the prayer vigil and he responded saying that we would not like him since it was his brother that had killed the other man. It turns out there was a block party on the street and, after a lot of drinking, the two men that were roommates got into an argument that left one dead. I assured the man that we prayed for the victim and the family and for the perpetrator and the family. Both suffered a lost in a homicide. He said he would come and pray with us but did not.

After the vigil when I was parking my car in the garage I saw a man walking up the driveway with a beautiful peace lily. It was from my wife’s sister and brother-in-law in memorial of our son Peter, the one year anniversary of his death being tomorrow.

After I got in the house I went to my computer and did something I have been meaning to do for awhile. I send an email to friends with a link to my friend’s, Francis Pauc, series of reflections called Father At War. Francis, a military veteran turned pacifist describes his concern over his son joining the military and gong to Iraq. It is a very moving set of reflections and in many ways I can identify with his love and concern for his son. At the end of the email I said these inspiring reflections where a gift to all on the eve of the first anniversary of my son’s death.

In many ways I can identify as a Father At War. My son never was in the military but fought hard against depression, illness, discrimination and stigma. As a father I wanted to ‘save’ him from his illness but could not. Like Francis all I can do keep to my own values and principles and respect my son’s decisions.

Many of the prayer homicide vigils are for young men caught up in the violence of the streets of the central city. There are many fathers out there, like Francis and I, that stand strong with our sons in war.

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