Today, 11/11/11, is supposed to be a lucky day. I felt lucky and happy that the sun finally showed up. Each day can be a lucky day if we make it so. Feeling lucky is a matter of perspective. I feel lucky and blessed all the time when I am present to the real world and not caught up in myself. Not being the center of the universe can be tough but it is freeing.

This feeling of death that I have been walking around with the last year can be called a curse. I prefer to look at it as a blessing. When one feels death is imminent, priorities change and the bigger picture comes to focus.

Now when I see a silent tribute to fallen soldiers in Afghanistan, as I did tonight at the end of PBS TV news, I feel the lost of each person flashed on the screen. I feel the blame and shame we all need to take for these killings.
I especially feel the failure of institutions, corporations and government that keep silent, like Marquette, Penn State and the Catholic Church did on sexual scandals. We need to speak the truth to the power of these institutions like Marquette that preach morality but continue to teach war and killing and immoral values.

Someone once asked me why I was always so angry. I was because when see hypocrisy preaching not being practice I get upset. However, over the years I, hopefully, have learned to change my anger into a feeling of darkness and death that I can live and see through to the other end of light and hope.

So what may be a negative feeling, like death, can be a lucky one if we can change it to be positive and see it showing us the light on the other end of the darkness. Every day can be 11/11/11, a lucky day.

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