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Pat with Peter and David
in younger days of our marriage
Today is our 43rd wedding anniversary. Some of my friends say that Pat, my wife, is a Saint since she put up with me all these years. Maybe so, I respond, but if she is a saint I must be at least a blessed.
One friend wished us another 43 years of marriage. I had the same thought writing a message on a card to my wife. But then I thought again and thought that would make me 112 years old at our 86th wedding anniversary, something I do not think will happen.
My deceased son, Peter, and I would at times talk about life in parables. His parable had a common thread that there was someone that was a scapegoat and being blamed for actions beyond his or her control. My parables were like Jesus’ Good Samaritan story, someone coming to rescue and saving someone else. If you put together a scapegoat and a savior I guess you get a person of nonviolence, like Jesus, Gandhi, King or Mandela saving people by taking suffering about them. Our marriage is like a parable, sometimes we scapegoat each other but it is really about blaming ourselves and we both want to save and rescue each other from all harm and injury.
Peter and I also talked some about how life is a paradox. For example, some say I do not care much about money, which is true, but at the same time I have made at times lots of money and am concerned about spending money. My wife loves me deeply and admires my strength of conviction but often is embarrassed by my words and actions.
My older son David is married and has given us three wonderful grandchildren. David is serious, thoughtful and a quiet but a real caring son, husband and father. My grandchildren all have good senses of humor. One of my grandsons knowing how I do not like Wal-Mart keeps writing on his facebook page how he ‘likes’ Wal-Mart. Today, my younger brother got in on the conversation asking me what’s up with my grandson and if he was adopted. Our marriage has been a serious business but humor has kept our relationship in perspective. I think we both wish there was more humor and thus more perspective.
So to sum it up our marriage is the story of one saint and one blessed, is a parable and a paradox with a little bit of humor thrown in.