From Nonviolent Cow

DiaryOfAWorm: True Friends, No, "Do Your Own Thing"


Friends Doing Nothing

The other day I was driving a friend to pick up some things. She said she could have had some other person drive her but decided on me. I asked her why and she, a very private and independent person, said that I was a friend who would not take advantage of our friendship.

Another friend and I have this routine that when he calls I joked with him about calling “for no good reason”. It is our way of saying that we help each other out in a time of need but still are friends, even if there is “no good reason” for calling on each other.

A third friend came over today to pick up something and I felt free to tell him of some problems I have been facing recently. I felt free to talk to him knowing that he would understand and not be judgmental.

Another friend, at least, I thought was a friend, wrote me a note that he was not going to argue with me. I had asked him for clarification on some statement he made and he took it, I guess, as arguing.

The common thread here is that true friendship is unconditional. Friends do things for each other just because that is what friends do. There is no exchange of “tit for tat”. If friends disagree they discuss their disagreements civilly. True friendship seems simple and it is. It is only in a world where as one person I had called a friend said, “You do your thing and I do my thing” is true friendship difficult.

I feel blessed to have a number of true friends, some I see and communicate a lot with, and some I do not. True friends seek out opportunities to be together and work together. “Do your thing” has no meaning with true friends.

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