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My First Painting
My deceased son, Peter, and I were kinship spirits and shared a lot of common interest. A few months before he died he was bemoaning his brain illness and his loneliness. He asked me if I knew who his best friend was? I asked who and he said that I was. To him that might have been a depressing thought but to me it was a compliment.
However, one area we did not share was art. Peter was an artist in music, visual arts and acting. I consider myself a ‘producer’ kind of person, someone that was good in putting things together and organizing. Peter was an artist and before he got ill he had a great sense of humor, the life of a party. Peter was a self taught musician, guitar, drums, and piano player.
In his last years of art he got into ‘computer art’ some of which you can see on Peter’s web site. Peter was truly an intuitive artist, taking what he felt at the moment and creatively expressing it.
When Peter suddenly died it took awhile for it to sink in. When it did a cloud of death surrounded me, I can ignore it but it is always present. Some months ago I had a chance to sign up for a workshop at an art studio. Although I had never painted in all my life I decided to take the opportunity of the art workshop. I signed up for an ‘intuitive’ painting class. After some brief instructions we were supplied with brushes, acrylic paints and a board. We were told to paint what comes to our mind intuitively. Immediately my mind focused on Peter. I pulled out a snapshot of him at his high school graduation that I had carried around. I started to paint a very high speed. What you see is what came out of me. It is no great work of art but captures some of my feelings about Peter, a person of fun and joy with a very dark side that he could not escape. The studio staff told me how great it was but I am not so sure. It does not matter; I did it as Peter did art, something that just came out of him. It also is how I write this posting each night. I just do it.
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