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Mother Mary says: “Who am I,
that this day He should come to me?

My brain is on break while this illness lingers on. I need to be careful of what I say and do since I am not very sharp these days. It is a good chance to practice the silence between words from the quote in last night’s posting from Thomas Merton. The brain taking a rest also affects my creative writing, if that is what I do in this daily observation diary.

A friend asks me to bring a Thomas Merton quote to our Faith in Recovery faith sharing group after liturgy today. One of the latest quotes coming my way seemed right for today and perhaps right for the daily observation. I am not sure what the quote means but it sounds like it is apropos.

“After all, what is your personal identity? It is what you really are, your real self. None of us is what he thinks he is, or what other people think he is, still less what his passport says he is… And it is fortunate for most of us that we are mistaken. We do not generally know what is good for us. That is because, in St. Bernard’s language, our true personality has been concealed under the ‘disguise’ of a false self, the ego, whom we tend to worship in place of God.” —Thomas Merton, The Waters of Siloe Harcourt & Brace, 1949, p. 349

Finding one’s true identity is difficult. I try not to worry about what other people think I am or but I do try to learn from the advice and wisdom of other people, past and present about who I am. Some of my teachers of my identity have been great persons like Dorothy Day or Martin Luther King Jr. Many of my teachers are ordinary persons I meet in life, especially children, the poor, ill and marginalized. Many of them can see right through whatever mask I am wearing and see a bit of who I really am.

Teachers tell me we must constantly seek the truth and follow our conscience, even if we are misinformed at times. Learning who you are and how to live life can be difficult and burden but also it can enjoyable and an adventure. Who am I is journey worth taking.

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