Blessed One
Today I drove my friend Tom to visit his mother, Arlene, in a nursing home outside of Milwaukee. I met Tom and his mother at our Catholic church in North Central Milwaukee that was closed by the Archdiocese in 2011. Arlene and Tom had been members of St. Nicholas, a popular and prosperous Church that was merged with two other Churches in 1993. Arlene and her late husband had been active members of St. Vincent De Paul Society, serving the poor in need in the area.
When I met Tom and his mother it was when Tom, who has a mental health disorder had returned home to help with his mother who was suffering dementia. Tom feels the full weight of stigma we put on people with brain disorders.
Eventually both had to go separate housing, Arlene to a nursing home specializing in people with dementia and Tom to subsidized housing project on the East Side. The merged church was being closed about the same time.
I have been driving Tom to visit his mother for a long time, every 10 days or so. Usually she shows some sign of recognition, seems aware, mumbles a few words and always laughs when we leave and I play the tickle game she taught me on her.
Today was different. Two staff told us as we were coming in that Arlene had been sick for a few days and was sleeping in her room. Tom called his brother who is his mom’s caregiver and he said he has just been informed this morning of her condition. She has been under hospice care for about a year but was doing so well there was not much to do.. The hospice workers were to come out later today to assess her condition.
Arlene had a cough and was tired something, to a much lesser degree, I have been experiencing for the last month or so. Also my father who suffered from dementia and no longer wanted to live was grateful when we finally took him to a hospice care home. When he got in his room his last words to my brother and I were “Thank You”. He died a few days later peacefully.
I have a cough, feel sick and have a hard time focusing my mind. But I am not dying as Arlene is. I am also getting tired of our effort to get the 1.1 million dollars left from the sale of three Churches back in the area to people in need served by the remaining SVDP conferences. The effort seems to go nowhere. However, when I remember the poor, ill, marginalized I am strengthen in my resolve to do my best. “Blessed are the poor, the sick, marginalized.”
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