I was about to write an email tonight to an old friend who now lives in Texas. As I started to do this an email from a mutual friend of ours that sends our jokes came in my inbox. What was strange about this email is that our friend had died a few years ago and the email was dated 2005. I started to forward the email to my friend in Texas but went back to the original email to check something. It was gone but fortunately it was saved in my draft email folder. So I sent it and now it is my sent file. The jokes are below.
This is a strange occurrence but I have been hearing about strange things happening recently. Our pastor told me that our parish Catholic school, that serves low income children, non-catholic, was dependent on income from the State voucher program. However, he added the voucher income was being taxed by the Archdiocese as any other income. Since the school barely makes it on this voucher money the parish had to pay the Archdiocese tax.
I was talking to another pastor yesterday and he told me another ‘hard to believe’ story. It seems that in Detroit they keep record of the square foot of your house. When it rains you pay so much per square foot to the sewer department according to the amount of rain. I asked what would happen to my rain tax since I used rain barrels at every gutter outlet. I guess I would not need to pay any rain water tax.
If you look at the U.S.A. use of killer drones to kill persons, many civilians, all over the Middle East, and then look at our condemnation of terrorist killing civilians it is ‘hard to believe’ what one is justified and one not.
There are many contradictions in life. The other side of ‘hard to believe’ is humor. See the jokes below my deceased friend sent in 2005 and I received today.
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels
On another Septic Tank Truck:
“We’re #1 in the #2 business.”
At a Proctologist’s door:
“To expedite your visit please back in.”
On a Plumber’s truck:
$blue%”We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
On a Plastic Surgeon’s Office door:
“Hello. Can we pick your nose?”
&brown&At a Towing company:
“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
In a Nonsmoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
On a Taxidermist’s window:
“We really know our stuff.”
On a Fence:
“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”
At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
Outside a Muffler Shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
At the Electric Company:
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don’t, you will be.”
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
At a Propane Filling Station,
“Thank heaven for little grills.”
And don’t forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak”
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