Winter, sadly, is here in force with a temperature of 11 degrees this morning. I say sadly, because cold weather and dark days leave me feeling a little low. But sad is okay as long as I am at peace inside Joy is better but again without peace inside joy is not so good The other night at a meeting getting angry when I saw the poor were being treated was okay but getting frustrated, losing my cool and inner peace was not good.
St Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus, Jesuits, gave all of us a lesson in discernment of spirits in his book the “Spiritual Exercises”. Being aware of how you feel is a big part of his discernment of spirits. To do this, be aware, one must take time out for an examination of consciousness, what brought me peace and what brought me anxiety in my life today. St. Ignatius felt strong about this Examine and held it out to his followers as the most important part of their day.
Our friend Father Jerry Zawada was here last night and, as usual when he stays here, he stays in the room that was our son Peter’s room the last four years of his life. Jerry did not know Peter but, from us, knows about his suffering and death. When I got up this morning Jerry was already up and had made the coffee. He has suffered nightmares recently that kept him awake. This morning he told me he slept well last night but had a dream this morning where he felt the overwhelming loving embrace of God when a person dies. In this dream he felt Peter’s presence in God’s loving embrace and Peter communicating to us how greatly he is loved and with us in our struggles. In his dream, no matter what we do, when we die we are in the loving presence of God. It was a very comforting thought and I told him to tell Pat about it. He did and she cried.
I have never cried in over three year’s since Peter’s tragic death and still cannot. But I have felt his presence in my life and Jerry’s dream last night confirmed my feelings. Yes I am sad about what is going on around me. But with Peter’s presence and awareness and discernment of the spirit within me I can handle any cold, snow or sadness thrown my way
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