For a long time after switching to a new computer I did not look up the Statistics, like hits, views, countries, unique visitors and such for my web pages on www.nonviolentcow. When I finally looked I noticed the statistics were very much the same as they have been for the last nine years. The Diary of the Worm is usually the most view web page and some others like the photo diary Buried in Guatemala remain in the top ten in the Viewed list. Sometimes a posting in Diary of the Worm or a new essay will see a bump in the Statistics.

I used to take more pleasure in having a high number of unique visitors or views but now I realize that I write for myself and if someone reads it that is a bonus. I realize that if you look deeper at the ‘same old, same old’ you can find another layer of meaning and fascination. Writing a public diary encourages me to see deeper into everyday life. Life is too much a mystery and gift to sleep walk through it. However, when I get busy and do not take time out to pray, mediate and just be, the joy and excitement of life can fade away.

Writing and reading also light up the imagination. The enemy of staying awake and really living is the screen of a TV, phone, tablet or computer, any device you sit passively and watch. Staying awake mean is not doing. Anthony de Mello, the spiritual writer, in his book “Awareness” tells this story as a symbol of modern life. “It is like people who are busy planning their vacation; they spend months planning it, and they get to the spot, and they are anxious about their reservations for flying back. But they are taking pictures all right and later they will show your pictures in an album of places they never saw but only photographed.” So numbers and views may change but being presence remains forever.

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