torment by Peter Graf
This morning I learned that a young woman from our Church was found dead in her apartment by her mother. This woman was a special person, sweet and loving, but plagued with the terrible disease of depression. Two deaths of dear ones in two days are more than my heart can take. I went through the day, working on the Memorial to Lorenzo Rosebaugh web page, cooking Indian lime rice and a salad for our DMZ lunch gathering and dinner tonight, but inside I was crying. I need to keep busy until I can take in the loss of these two good persons.
An elderly lady called tonight because she had heard about the death of Father Lorenzo Rosebaugh. She had just met him a few years ago when he was back in the states to promote his biography Wisdom Through Failure, and immediately recognized in his eyes that she had met a saint. She wanted to know if there was a Memorial Service in Milwaukee for him. I said I did not know yet and I started telling her about Lorenzo than realized she had read his book which he gives such a personal and open account of his life. She does not have a computer or do email but she knew Lorenzo, and like so many of us, just needed to talk to someone about our loss.
Lorenzo was not much of a computer user, but he had access to one in Guatemala and when he needed to reach someone he used it. However, he did not live in the virtual world so many of us participate in, but the real world, like my friend from church — the world of pain, suffering and joy. He, like so many great persons of nonviolence like Gandhi and Martin Luther King, was able to face death (violence and suffering) and not run from it like I did today; but face it head on and with prayer and silence absorb it and overcome it.
My friend from church was a strong person also but she suffered from a terrible disease that makes everyday living such a struggle.
I did manage to get out in the garden a little today. The weather was warm, even hot, so maybe it was okay I was not out in the sun too long. But I am tired of death around me keeping me from the garden of life. I know the garden of life will prevail over the darkness of death but right now do not feel it.
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